Rehearsal dinner invitations: who to invite and what to say
Who traditionally hosts and attends the rehearsal dinner, when to send the invitations, what to write, and how to invite a smaller group without upsetting the rest.
The short version
- Invite everyone in the rehearsal itself (wedding party, officiant, parents) plus their partners. Close family and out-of-town guests are optional.
- Send the invitations separately from the wedding invitation, to just those guests, three to six weeks ahead.
- Say who is hosting, when and where, the dress code and a reply date. The tone can be more relaxed than the wedding's.
- Keep it private: people who are not invited should not see it.
A rehearsal dinner is the meal after the ceremony rehearsal, usually the night before the wedding, for the people who took part in it. It is mainly a North American tradition, and it has spread: plenty of couples elsewhere now hold a welcome dinner or drinks the evening before, especially when guests have traveled. The invitation questions are the same either way.
Who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner?
- Everyone in the rehearsal: the wedding party, the officiant, readers and parents
- Their partners, by name
- Grandparents and immediate family, if you have room
- Optionally, guests who have traveled a long way
The child attendants (flower girls, ring bearers) are invited with their parents if the dinner is early and relaxed. If it runs late, many couples let the children eat first and leave.
Who hosts the rehearsal dinner?
Traditionally in the US, the groom's family, as a counterpart to the bride's family hosting the wedding. Today it is whoever offers, or the couple themselves. The invitation should say who is hosting, because it tells guests whose evening it is and whom to thank.
When should rehearsal dinner invitations go out?
Three to six weeks before, after the wedding invitations, so nobody receives the smaller invitation first and wonders about the bigger one. Ask for replies two weeks ahead so the restaurant has numbers.
What should a rehearsal dinner invitation say?
- Who is hosting
- That it is the rehearsal dinner (or welcome dinner) for the couple
- The date, the time and the place, with an address
- The dress code, which is usually one step less formal than the wedding
- A reply date
Linda and Paul Porter invite you to a rehearsal dinner in honor of Emma and James. Friday, June 11, 2027, at seven in the evening, The Boathouse, 12 River Road, Rhinebeck. Kindly reply by May 28.
The night before the big night! Join us for dinner and a toast after the rehearsal. Friday, June 11, 7 PM, The Boathouse, Rhinebeck. Let us know by May 28. Emma and James
How do you keep it from upsetting other guests?
Send it privately, only to the people invited, and do not mention it on anything the whole guest list sees. If you also hold a welcome drink for all out-of-town guests, make that a separate, clearly open invitation, so the smaller dinner never has to explain itself.
Our extra-event invitations are built for this: you pick the guests from your wedding guest list, each gets a ready-made message from your own phone, and you track who is coming in one place, while the wedding invitation stays the same for everyone. The same works for a brunch the morning after.
The rehearsal dinner is the evening for the people who are holding the day up. Keep it small, keep it warm, and keep it off the main invitation.
Common questions
Who is invited to a rehearsal dinner?
Everyone taking part in the rehearsal (the wedding party, the officiant, readers and parents) and their partners. Grandparents, immediate family and guests who have traveled far are optional additions.
When should rehearsal dinner invitations be sent?
Three to six weeks before the wedding, after the wedding invitations have gone out, with a reply date about two weeks before the dinner.
Who traditionally pays for the rehearsal dinner?
In the US tradition, the groom's family. Today it is often whoever offers, or the couple themselves, and the invitation should name the hosts.
Should the rehearsal dinner be on the wedding invitation?
No. It is a smaller event, so send its invitation separately and privately to only the guests who are invited.
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