How to plan a micro wedding (20 to 50 guests)
What counts as a micro wedding, how to decide who makes the cut, where the budget goes when the list is short, and how to tell everyone else kindly.
The short version
- A micro wedding usually means somewhere between 20 and 50 guests, with the full shape of a wedding at a smaller scale.
- Make the list with one test, applied to everybody, and stop when you reach your number.
- With fewer guests, the money can go to the things everyone shares: the food, the room and the photographs.
- Tell the people who are not invited before they hear about it, and give them a way to share in the day.
A micro wedding is a wedding with all the parts (a ceremony, a meal, speeches, perhaps dancing) and a guest list of roughly 20 to 50 people. It is smaller than a traditional wedding and larger than an elopement, and it lets every guest be someone you actually talk to on the day.
How do you decide who to invite?
With one test, applied to everyone, written down before you start. "People we have both seen in the last year" or "people we would call with bad news" both work. Apply it to both families and to friends in the same way, and stop when you reach your number. The test does the explaining for you later.
- Partners of guests are invited by name; there are no open plus ones at this size
- Children are either all in or all out, apart from your own family's
- Colleagues are usually out, unless they are friends by the test
Where should the budget go?
Into what every guest experiences together. With 30 people instead of 130, the per-head cost of food and drink is a much smaller total, so you can choose a better restaurant, a private dining room, a longer menu or a photographer for the whole day. Fixed costs (the venue, the photographer, the officiant) do not shrink with the list, so they take a larger share.
What kind of venue suits a micro wedding?
- A restaurant's private room, which brings its own kitchen, staff and atmosphere
- A rented house or villa, where guests can stay together for a weekend
- A garden or a family home, with a caterer
- A small country hotel, often happy to take a midweek booking
Do you still need invitations?
Yes, and they matter more, because each one says "you are one of the few". A digital invitation suits a small wedding well: you can write a personal line to each guest, collect replies and dietary needs, and send a separate invitation for a dinner the night before without anyone else seeing it.
How do you tell people they are not invited?
Before they find out. A short message to the people who might reasonably expect an invitation (extended family, close colleagues, old friends) is kinder than silence followed by photographs. Share something afterwards: photos, a video of the vows, or a relaxed party later on for everyone.
We decided to keep our wedding very small, just immediate family and a few friends. We would love to celebrate with you afterwards, and we will share the photos as soon as we have them.
A small wedding is not a smaller version of a big one. It is a different event, where everyone at the table gets a real conversation with you.
Common questions
What is a micro wedding?
A wedding with the full structure of a ceremony and a celebration, but a guest list of roughly 20 to 50 people. It sits between an elopement and a traditional wedding.
How do you decide who to invite to a micro wedding?
Agree one test for everyone, such as people you have both seen in the last year, apply it to both families and to friends equally, and stop when you reach your number.
How do you tell people they are not invited to a small wedding?
Tell them before the wedding, kindly and briefly, explaining that you are keeping it to immediate family and a few friends, and offer a way to share in it, such as photos or a party afterwards.
Plan it all in one place
A seating chart, a budget and a checklist that follow your guests' replies, alongside your invitation.
Start planning free →
