How to announce an elopement or a very small wedding
Who to tell first, what to say, how to word the announcement, and how to share the day with everyone who was not there without anyone feeling left out.
The short version
- Tell the people who would be hurt to hear it second-hand before anything goes out: parents, siblings, grandparents, closest friends.
- Then send one announcement to everyone else, personally, with a photo and a sentence that explains nothing more than it needs to.
- If you plan a party later, say so in the announcement. It turns "we missed it" into "we are invited".
- Keep the wording warm and short; nobody needs a justification.
Announce an elopement in two rounds: first, privately, to the few people who would be hurt to hear it from anyone else, and then with one warm announcement to everyone you would have invited. The order matters more than the wording. Most of the hurt feelings around elopements come from a parent learning the news from a social media post.
Who should you tell first?
Parents, siblings, grandparents and the two or three friends who would have stood beside you. Tell them by phone or in person, ideally before you go or on the day itself, and before anything appears online. A call that says "we wanted you to hear it from us" does more than any announcement can.
What should an elopement announcement say?
- That you are married, and when and where
- A sentence about why, if you want one, kept short and positive
- A photo from the day
- Whether there will be a celebration later, and roughly when
Leave out any defense of the decision. A long explanation invites argument; a short, happy one invites congratulations.
Elopement announcement wording you can use
We did it! Emma and James were married on May 8, 2027, on a cliff above the sea in Big Sur, just the two of us and the wind. We cannot wait to celebrate with you.
Emma Collins and James Porter are delighted to share that they were married in a small ceremony on May 8, 2027. A celebration with family and friends will follow this fall; details to come.
We kept it small, and we kept it ours. Married, May 8, 2027. Thank you for loving us; a party is coming, and you are invited.
How should you send the announcement?
Personally, the same way you would send an invitation: a message to each person, with a line of your own and a link or a photo. A digital announcement suits an elopement well, because it can carry the photos, the story and, later, the invitation to the party, all at one address. Printed announcements are lovely for older relatives and as a keepsake.
Post publicly only after the personal round is done. Even a day's gap is enough for the people closest to you to feel they heard it first.
Should you have a party afterwards?
If the people who missed the ceremony would have loved to be there, a relaxed celebration a few weeks or months later gives them their part of the day. It does not need to be a second wedding: a dinner, a garden party, a long lunch. Invite it like any party, and do not expect gifts; some guests will bring one anyway.
An elopement is a choice about the ceremony, not about the people. The announcement is where you show that.
Is it rude to elope?
No. Eloping is a choice about the kind of wedding you want, and plenty of families come to love it. What can feel rude is the way people find out. Tell the closest people first, announce warmly, and give everyone a way to celebrate with you, and most of the disappointment fades quickly.
Common questions
How do you announce an elopement?
In two rounds. First tell parents, siblings, grandparents and closest friends privately, by phone or in person. Then send one warm announcement to everyone else, with a photo, when and where you married, and whether a celebration will follow.
What do you write in an elopement announcement?
That you are married, when and where, a short and positive sentence about the day, and whether there will be a party later. For example: "Emma and James were married on May 8, 2027, in Big Sur, just the two of us. We cannot wait to celebrate with you."
Should you have a reception after eloping?
If family and friends would have loved to be there, a relaxed celebration a few weeks or months later gives them their part of the day. It can be a dinner or a garden party rather than a second wedding.
Ready to write yours?
Copy the wording, add your names, and send it as an invitation your guests can reply to on the spot.
Make your invitation →
