Wedding invitation wording by who is hosting
The first line of an invitation names whoever is doing the inviting. Here is every version of it.
Almost every disagreement about invitation wording is really a disagreement about the first line, because the first line says who is hosting, and by long convention, hosting means paying. Get that line right and the rest of the invitation writes itself. Get it wrong and somebody feels written out of their own child's wedding.
Two modern facts make this easier than it used to be. Most couples now pay for some or all of the day themselves, so "together with their families" has become the standard opening: it honors both sides without claiming anything about money. And where families are blended, listing people on separate lines, in the order that causes least pain, is universally accepted. There is no committee enforcing the old rules.
Examples you can copy
The couple is hosting
Eleanor Grace Whitfield
and
Thomas James Hale
invite you to share in their joy
as they marry
Saturday, the fourteenth of June, two thousand twenty-seven
at four o'clock in the afternoon
Ashcombe House, Kingsbridge, Devon
No parents named at all. Correct, and increasingly the most common form.
The couple hosting, with both families honored
Together with their families
Eleanor Grace Whitfield
and
Thomas James Hale
request the pleasure of your company
at their marriage
Saturday, the fourteenth of June, two thousand twenty-seven
at four o'clock in the afternoon
Ashcombe House, Kingsbridge, Devon
The safest opening in modern wording: warm to both families, silent about who is paying.
One set of parents hosting, the other acknowledged
Mr and Mrs Andrew Whitfield
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Eleanor Grace
to
Thomas James Hale
son of Dr and Mrs Peter Hale
Saturday, the fourteenth of June, two thousand twenty-seven
at four o'clock in the afternoon
Ashcombe House, Kingsbridge, Devon
"Son of…" names the other family without claiming they are hosting. A useful compromise.
A blended family: parents and step-parents
Mrs Margaret Whitfield and Mr David Ashby
Mr Andrew Whitfield and Mrs Claire Whitfield
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of
Eleanor Grace Whitfield
to
Thomas James Hale
Saturday, the fourteenth of June, two thousand twenty-seven
at four o'clock in the afternoon
Ashcombe House, Kingsbridge, Devon
Each household on its own line. The parent the bride lived with is conventionally first, but the real rule is whichever order keeps the peace.
Honoring a parent who has died
Eleanor Grace Whitfield
daughter of Margaret Whitfield
and of the late Andrew Whitfield
and
Thomas James Hale
invite you to their marriage
Saturday, the fourteenth of June, two thousand twenty-seven
at four o'clock in the afternoon
Ashcombe House, Kingsbridge, Devon
"And of the late…" is the accepted form. Some couples prefer a line in the ceremony instead, and either is right.
What to watch for
Naming a host implies they are paying
That is the convention behind the whole first line, and it is why it causes arguments. If nobody is clearly hosting, or the split is complicated, "together with their families" removes the question entirely and nobody has to be counted.
Households go on separate lines
Where parents are divorced, each household gets its own line and they are not joined by "and". Joining them implies they are still a couple, which is exactly the misreading you are trying to avoid.
Settle the order in private before it reaches a page
The order of names is the most-remembered detail of any invitation, and it is read as a ranking whether you mean it or not. Agree it with both families before you type it, not after they have seen it.
One invitation, one host line
Do not send different versions of the invitation to different sides of the family. With a digital invitation there is only one link and one version, which quietly removes that temptation.
Put your wording into a real invitation.
Build it free →Questions
What if the groom's parents are paying?
Then they are the hosts and their names open the invitation. The traditional order exists because the bride's family traditionally paid, not because of any rule about gender. Use the same form with their names in place of hers.
What is the wording when everybody is contributing?
"Together with their families, Eleanor and Thomas request the pleasure of your company." It is the modern default precisely because it is true in almost every case and no one has to be listed above anyone else.
Should step-parents be named?
If they are hosting, or if the couple considers them a parent, yes, on the line with the parent they are married to. If naming them would start a fight and they are not hosting, "together with their families" solves it without anyone being singled out.
Can we name a deceased parent as a host?
The conventional form is "and of the late Andrew Whitfield" in the couple's lineage rather than in the host line, since a host is someone inviting you. Many couples prefer to honor them in the ceremony or with a line in the invitation's details instead.
The wording is only half of it: a guest still has to reply, find the venue and put the date in their calendar. On a digital wedding invitation all three live under the wording on the same page, in any of 35 designs.
Written by Leon Bogičević, Founder, Say Yes at Say Yes Digital Invitations.