Wedding RSVP wording
The line that decides whether you know your numbers in May or in June.
The RSVP line is the only part of an invitation that asks the guest to do something, which makes it the only part where vagueness costs you money. "Let us know if you can make it" produces replies for weeks, half of them by text, and a headcount you assemble by hand. A date, a verb and a single way to answer produce most of your replies in the first ten days.
What you ask for matters as much as when. A wedding RSVP is not only yes or no: it is how many people are coming under that name, what they cannot eat, and (if you want it) a song they would like to hear. Ask for all of it in one go. Every question you leave out becomes a message you have to send in the final two weeks, when you have the least time.
Examples you can copy
The standard line, for an online RSVP
Kindly reply by 1 May 2027
using the button on this invitation
Short, dated, and points at exactly one way to answer.
Warmer, and still specific
We'd love to know if you can join us.
Please reply by 1 May. It takes about a minute,
and it tells us how much cake to order.
The explanation of why the date matters measurably improves how fast people answer.
When the invitation covers a named party
This invitation is for Margaret and David Ashby
Please reply by 1 May and tell us the names
of everyone coming with you
Naming who is invited on the invitation itself is the cleanest way to handle plus-ones and children.
With the dietary question included
Kindly reply by 1 May 2027
The form asks about allergies and anything you don't eat.
Please tell us there rather than on the day,
so the kitchen can plan properly
Health information belongs in a form with a consent box, not in a text message chain.
A reminder to the ones who have not replied
Hello [name], we're finalizing numbers for 14 June
and we haven't heard from you yet.
Could you let us know either way by Friday?
Here's the invitation again: [link]
Sent as a message, not on the invitation. "Either way" is the phrase that gets an answer from people avoiding saying no.
What to watch for
Set the deadline three to four weeks before the day
The venue usually wants the final count seven to ten days before the wedding, and you need a fortnight after your deadline to chase stragglers and build the seating plan. Three to four weeks out is the date that makes both possible.
Offer one way to reply, not three
Every additional channel (a form, an email address, a phone number) splits your replies into lists you then have to merge. One button on the invitation keeps every answer in one place, with the names attached.
Ask for names, not just a number
"Four attending" is useless when you come to write place cards. Ask for the name of every person in the party; it costs the guest fifteen seconds and saves you an evening of detective work later.
Expect to chase about a quarter of them
Roughly one guest in four does not reply by the deadline, however you word it. Plan for one reminder a week after the date, sent individually rather than as a group message, because a group chase gets ignored by everyone in it.
Put your wording into a real invitation.
Build it free →Questions
What does RSVP actually stand for?
Répondez s'il vous plaît, French for "please reply". It has been the standard abbreviation on English-language invitations for well over a century, and is understood everywhere, though many couples now simply write "Please reply by…" instead.
When should the RSVP deadline be?
Three to four weeks before the wedding. Earlier than that and guests forget to answer because it feels far off; later and you cannot give the venue a final count or finish the seating plan.
How do we stop guests bringing an uninvited plus-one?
Name the people invited on the invitation itself: "This invitation is for Margaret and David Ashby". It is far more effective than a rule stated elsewhere, because the guest reads it at the moment they are deciding.
Should the RSVP go to us or to our parents?
To whoever is keeping the list, and to only one of you. Replies arriving at two addresses are replies that get counted twice or not at all. With an online RSVP the question does not arise: everything lands in one place.
The wording is only half of it: a guest still has to reply, find the venue and put the date in their calendar. On a digital wedding invitation all three live under the wording on the same page, in any of 35 designs.
Written by Leon Bogičević, Founder, Say Yes at Say Yes Digital Invitations.