Wedding speech order: who speaks, when and for how long
The traditional speech order in the US and the UK, the modern variations, how long each speech should be, and how to brief speakers so nobody runs over.
The short version
- US tradition: the host (often a parent) welcomes everyone, then the maid of honor and the best man, then the couple may thank everyone.
- UK tradition: father of the bride, the groom (or the couple), then the best man, with more weddings adding the maid of honor.
- Three to five minutes per speech; four speeches is plenty.
- Tell every speaker their slot, their length and who speaks before them, in writing.
The traditional wedding speech order depends on the country. In the US it usually runs from the host's welcome to the maid of honor and the best man; in the UK it is father of the bride, then the groom, then the best man. Most couples now adapt it to their family, and the only rules worth keeping are short speeches and a clear order everyone knows.
The traditional US order
- The host, often a parent of one of the couple, welcomes guests
- The maid or matron of honor
- The best man
- The couple, together or one of them, thanking everyone
The traditional UK order
- The father of the bride (or whoever is hosting), who welcomes guests and toasts the couple
- The groom, or the couple together, thanking everyone and toasting the wedding party
- The best man, who closes
- Increasingly, the maid of honor and the bride as well
Modern variations
Both partners speaking together, both mothers as well as both fathers, a friend instead of a relative, or one speaker from each side. Any of these is fine. What matters is that the order flows from welcome to thanks to celebration, and that the funniest speech comes last.
How long should a wedding speech be?
Three to five minutes, which is about 400 to 700 words spoken at a natural pace. Four speeches is plenty; with more, the block passes half an hour and the room drifts. Ask speakers to time themselves out loud, because written speeches always run longer than they look.
When do the speeches happen?
In one block, either before the meal or after it. Before means speakers can relax and eat; after is the traditional British slot. Avoid spreading them between courses, which stops the meal and the evening several times.
How to brief your speakers
- Their slot, their time limit and who speaks before them
- Who will hand them the microphone, and where to stand
- Anything off limits: exes, private stories, anything a grandmother should not hear
- The names and pronunciations of anyone they will thank
Nobody has ever left a wedding wishing the speeches had been longer.
Common questions
What is the order of wedding speeches?
In the US the host often welcomes guests, followed by the maid of honor, the best man and sometimes the couple. In the UK the traditional order is the father of the bride, the groom, then the best man, with the maid of honor increasingly included.
How long should a wedding speech be?
Three to five minutes, roughly 400 to 700 words spoken naturally. Keep the whole block of speeches under half an hour.
Who gives the first speech at a wedding?
Traditionally the host, often a parent of one of the couple, who welcomes the guests and thanks them for coming.
Plan it all in one place
A seating chart, a budget and a checklist that follow your guests' replies, alongside your invitation.
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